life as a checking list
This is definitely not your typical makeup post.
While this blog is dedicated to my passion for makeup (who has seen the new Mecca Christmas edition?), I think there is also space for some intentional reflection.
Maybe because it's coming towards the end of the year, you are probably being as reflective as I am! I've had many conversations lately with friends and family that have caused me to reflect on certain areas in my life. I don't know if any one does the same but again, I don't ever want to look back on my life and ask "did I even think about this?" and ''why the heck did I not??". In saying, here are some of my recent thoughts:
Life is not a checking list, we can celebrate the milestones because its easy, its quantifiable. We never celebrate or mark the milestones as "I'm still struggling with this .... and it sucks, nothing has been resolved and its okay".
Its easy to treat the pace of life as "getting the next thing" or "moving onto the next stage". Why are we embedded with this narrative and think its the "normal" thing to do?
And if this is the narrative, why do we feel like there is this unknown pressure or expectation if you don't fulfil it at that certain time or the certain thing?
Finish high school, graduate from uni, find a full-time job, date someone who is on the same page, post about the brunches you go to on Instagram, start getting insecure about your "status" in life so you look for the next thing - buy a house, commit to significant things with your "other-half" to show how serious you are and oh look, it's time to get married and talk about floral arrangements. All the while, forgetting that you are only doing this because you "feel" like you are on the right stage in your life.
Although, I don't think there is anything wrong with doing any of those things but if its only done because it's "what it is" then something is definitely wrong.
It's all about perspective isn't it? You can kill it at life by ticking all the right boxes but if we move on too quickly - we forget the process and become focused on the goal or outcome itself.
This is probably the performance-driven aspect within me, always feeling like you "have" to be accomplishing something to feel somewhat validated. I think its a delicate balance. If you are never working on something, you don't seem to be driven. If you are always working on something, you become goal- oriented and wanting people's approval by your achievements. So what the heck and whats the solution? I guess, for me, it comes down to my motivation.
While on the outside it might seem like I'm achieving those "milestones"- finishing high school, graduate from uni, etc. (the dating part is a whole other story)- I don't want it to be like that and I definitely don't want to perceive other people as that either without really knowing what they are thinking.
Society preaches on "go live your best life- you do you!" all the while still pushes the "ideal" framework on what that looks like.
So what does this mean for me? I see people around me doing all of those things and myself included. It means I need to think for myself. Yes - I'm doing those things but why?
Trust me, I think it would be a heck of a lot easier to go through life on auto-pilot so you don't have to confront these thoughts and dismiss it with "no, just do and don't overthink." or "if it makes you happy then you go do it (how much I hate this idea if it's not done with intention and reflection!)"
And while I really like to have the straight answers to those questions, I honestly don't. But you know what? I'm going to say even thinking about them is probably sending me on the way to some answers. And I think thats pretty damn good.